i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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