we're blogging at a bar
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
