I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
