i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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