You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
