Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
