i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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