My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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