Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
