exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
