yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
