yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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