Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
