OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
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We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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