Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
