sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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