i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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