Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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