When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
