is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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