All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize