omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
