Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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