is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
