Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
