I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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