New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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