YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
