So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
