spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
