He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
