So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
