Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize