I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
