Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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