just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
