Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
operation harelip BJ is a go
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
