My friends, they love my intelligence
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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