i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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