Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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