Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
