That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
