My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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