I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
