i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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