woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize