Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
