we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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