If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
