I CAN MOONWALK!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize