Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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