Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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