omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
