No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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