Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
