On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
