I can tuck mytits in my pants
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
