look no pants
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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