I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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