Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
