Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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