What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
