Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
